I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil