Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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