Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1129) Bad night (7267)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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  (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo
  Replies (56) Good night (8460) Bad night (1029)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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  (561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u
  Replies (63) Good night (1040) Bad night (11129)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?

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  (781): does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant? http://tfl.nu/3cg3
  Replies (56) Good night (4251) Bad night (1155)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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  (732): The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made. http://tfl.nu/5n54
  Replies (12) Good night (1482) Bad night (4399)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7468) Bad night (921)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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  (504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7
  Replies (13) Good night (2186) Bad night (2680)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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  (402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1867) Bad night (804)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable

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  (732): wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5ca2
  Replies (16) Good night (6623) Bad night (1057)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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  (610): I can't. I will literally throw up my liver (484): Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume. http://tfl.nu/eh54
  Replies (2) Good night (1736) Bad night (745)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.

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  (574): I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today. http://tfl.nu/7783
  Replies (13) Good night (914) Bad night (1857)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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  (706): He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake http://tfl.nu/0u2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (425)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.

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  (336): I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/1f7k
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (339)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night

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  (312): Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night http://tfl.nu/k1kb
  Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (581)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.

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  (864): Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on. http://tfl.nu/ak2b
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (712)

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