Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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  (586): Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up http://tfl.nu/mvat
  Replies (3) Good night (1987) Bad night (735)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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  (561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign. http://tfl.nu/lnzh
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (946)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4280) Bad night (720)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if i died would you start the facebook group?

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  (330): if i died would you start the facebook group? http://tfl.nu/beoo
  Replies (27) Good night (4478) Bad night (1247)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (11437) Bad night (1505)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.

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  (337): I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven. http://tfl.nu/stao
  Replies (4) Good night (3999) Bad night (1023)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.

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  (613): We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me. http://tfl.nu/jjop
  Replies (9) Good night (2077) Bad night (721)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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  (803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (571)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.

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  (910): Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here. http://tfl.nu/sd9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1104) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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  (912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1
  Replies (19) Good night (3463) Bad night (777)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'

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  (401): My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.' http://tfl.nu/jt97
  Replies (11) Good night (2218) Bad night (589)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..

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  (763): the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night (612): shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore .. http://tfl.nu/1vgv
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..

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  (208): She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow.. http://tfl.nu/se5s
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.

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  (707): Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices. http://tfl.nu/gh6b
  Replies (14) Good night (313) Bad night (749)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I would do everything over again, except the fireball.

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  (304): I would do everything over again, except the fireball. http://tfl.nu/xsan
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (213)

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