And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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