I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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