i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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