3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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