We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Congratulations! We have a period
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