hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
