Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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