Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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