no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
