is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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