I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
third nipple confirmed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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