my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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