do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
