I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
