Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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