I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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