dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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