I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I intend to get homeless drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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