If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
