I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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