Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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