I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
