Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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