I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize