She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize