my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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