i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
