What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
