NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This house was built for laser tag.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize