ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
