So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
