I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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