and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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