There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
