Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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