The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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