I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
