just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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