I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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