i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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