mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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