Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
