How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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