The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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