At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it's like iHOP with fire
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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