hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
