I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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