i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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