you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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