just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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