I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
