alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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