wanna go halves on a baby?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize