i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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