She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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