Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
