So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i out mim tonsoeep
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
