two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
