remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
