Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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